23 Years

Our wedding day 23 years ago.

Not long ago, 23 years of marriage would not have seemed like a major accomplishment, but in today's society, it seems unattainable to most!  We reached that this year.  People seem surprised when we tell them how long we have been married.  The millennials and generation Zs always want to know the secret to the longevity of our marriage (it doesn't feel like a long time to either one of us).  This blog post is about what has kept us together for 23 years!  It is in know way a judgement of other marriages.  I am only referring to what has worked for us.

Put Christ at the center of your relationship.

First, God has ALWAYS come first!  We are christians first and husband and wife second.  All faith journeys have their ups and downs, but with a partner to navigate it with, it makes the whole thing a whole lot easier.  I see my husband grow in his faith in much different ways than I grow in mine.  We compliment each other so well.  We have more to offer our children with our differences.  This being said, our united commitment to Christ, strengths our family as well.  We have a saying when things aren't going exactly how we plan, "It's all about Jesus!"  It is a simple reminder of what is really important.  It is the glue that binds us together.  

We are better and stronger together than we are apart! 

Second, we both understand that the sum of us is greater than its parts.  We are more blessed, powerful, unflappable, etc together than we are apart.  We are a team!  What benefits the team, benefits its players.  He understands that he is not more important than I am.  On the same token, I realize that I am not more important than he is.  There are times he needs my support and me, his.  Never be too busy or think what you are doing is more important than your partner.  The other day, we both needed help from the other.  I did for him and he did for me.  I thought to myself, "This is what marriage is all about!".  What a fantastic aha moment!  I started to think about it and realized that we do it nearly everyday.  Teamwork!

We love to travel.  We all travel well together.  Find someone who want to do the things you want to do.

Third, we have so many things in common!  Besides faith, we both love to travel, politics, good wine, cooking, food, exercise, movies!  I know it sounds cliche, but essentially, marry your best friend!  As we set home for months on end during COVID, we were well entertained.  We exercised together nearly every day at least twice a day.  We menu planned and cooked together.  We played cards and watched movies on weekends.  Sure, none of that is super exciting, but we came to love it!  We (the 4 of us) were all we really had, and it was more than enough to sustain us.  Sure, there were times when things got tough, but we had each other to turn to.  I have so much love for this man and was so happy to not have him traveling.  He still works from 8-5 (or more) everyday, but his office is here.  We get to have 3 meals a day together.  I was afraid when lockdown started that we would fight because he has traveled so much of our marriage, but we haven't.  I am more in love with him everyday!

Things are not always going to go smooth so choose someone who is going to get through it with you!  

Fourth, "Adapt, overcome, and improvise!"  There will be bumps in the road.  Things have hardly ever gone the way we plan for them to go!  We have had some major curve balls thrown at us over the last few years.  Our motto has always been "adapt, overcome, and improvise".   You have had to come together and come up with a new plan.  Nothing can destroy you if you are united.  Sometimes that means you put the biggest smile you can muster and say things will be ok when you feel like hiding in bed with the covers pulled over your head.  Your partner needs and deserves that from you.  It is a requirement.  It should go both ways!  

Oh how I love this man!!!  I can't imagine my life with anyone else!

Fifth, and final, LOVE.  I never forget that I love this person!  I don't forget that I  took a vow in front of God to love this person forever.  I don't forget that in the worst of times that I love this person!!!  Times when I want to leave in my car and never come back (yes, there have been those times - not many - but a few), I turn around and tell him I love him.  I do.  Even if I have to find a something that is right where I told him it was after insisting he had looked and it was nowhere to be found.  I love this man.  For better or worse, I love this man!!!  For us, it really is that simple.  

23 years later, we still act and love each other exactly like this!